Dani-isms
Dani-ism: When Dani does odd things that normal society would shun but gets away with it because... Well... She's Dani.
I find it oddly fantastic that the Hannibal episodes are titled by food.
I really need to marry Nicholas Cage.
Aww Cthulhu, sweet pea... Don't worry, you're a giant scary sea god in my eyes. ♥
*Meg and I are watching Dahmer. He chops someone up on his kitchen floor*
Meg: OH MY GOD!! Doesn't he know that's bad for his floors??
Me: .... Seriously Meg? Seriously? The lil brother just chopped someone up and you're worried about his floors? The shit that comes outta yo mouth sometimes.
I don't think I could ever get in a serious fight if I married Andrew Scott (the guy who played Moriarty). He'd just get super pissed and I'd bite my lip and he'd go "GOD DAMNIT DANI! I swear, if you don't stop this nonsense right now I'll-... I'll-"
Me: You'll make me into shoes? *bites tongue and grins*
Him: What? No I- ..... Seriously. Seriously, Dani? Out of anything you could have said. "You'll make me into shoes?"... No, you know what? I'm going for a walk to calm down.
And as he leaves and flick on my Ipod and "Staying Alive" will pop on and he'll have to try to walk out with a straight face, which he won't be able to do and he'll just turn around and lean in the door frame and stare at me like "Really?"
And then I'll pout and be like "Okay okay... I'll stop."
And he'll go "Alright. Good. Now are we going to watch that movie tonight?"
And I'll say "Shit no. Sorry. I promised my friend I'd go and play bingo with her tonight."
And he'll roll his eyes and be like "Fiiine."
"Don't worry. I'll make it up to you, starting with the table." And I'll just leave.
And he'll raise a questioning brow and look into the dining room and see an apple on the table. And he'll pick it up. And on it will be carved "I.O.U."
and he'll do that thing where you bite you lip and try not to smile but you smile anyway and I'll pop in and hug him and be like "I loooove youuuu"
And then we cuddle.
I've been eating Parmesan cheese for a minute and 30 seconds and it now tastes like crab cakes.
Something is wrong with me.
I want to have a wedding... But not have the married part. Or the party part. Or the people part. Or anything that actually has to do with a wedding. I just want to wear a dress.
I like the word "sprig".
Apparently, Robert Downey Jr. was humble at one point.
I find that oddly hard to believe.
In times like this where I'm terribly angry and all I want to do is sleep, the only thing that is actually calming me is shipping Rickyl.
Me: Steff, you will not stop me from having ginger friends!!
Steff: No, the world will. When they're plague is wiped out.
Me: I shall keep one alive... And then genetically enhance them to be super gingers! And the gene will be dominant.... And the shall rule...
SteffL Then I forfeit my life. I am going to go drink a bottle of red eye solution now. Good bye.
Me: *drops to knees and screams to raining sky* NOOOOOO!
Me: DO YOU ENJOY MY TEARS?
Tom: yup, wolf tears bring big bucks on the black market
Me: Because they are so rare.
I think the world supply of pants and shirts should be burned. And everyone should be forced to wear flip flops and socks in their underwear.
Me: How did you not know I I like Harry Potter?
Jordan: How do I know anything you like? All you talk about is Tom Hiddleston.
Me: Ah-... Valid argument. I have no argument.
There are going to be 3 versions of my name.
Dani is the original. She's the one you all know and love.
Danny is the masculine Dani. She is cool and has game and likes suits.
And then there's the new addition.
D'nae. She's either the nerdy version or the sassy ass mofo.
I decided it would be an excellent idea to watch the Walking dead.
In my creepy ass house.
In my dark room.
With only one light on.
Alright, and THEN I thought it would be a fabulous idea to take a shower.
The shower curtain was closed, so I grabbed the hair dryer and prepared myself.
I had to close my eyes when I was washing my hair. I counted the seconds to my death.
And once I thought I was free...
The fog covered mirror.
My snuggie wouldn't work as a robe so I turned it into a dress.
Tony: I wanna touch it!
Me: Isn't my hubby so cute?
Tony: Your hubby is cthulu?
Me: One of my many hubbies, yes.
Tony: I wanna touch the mini-thulu...h
es too cute not to.
Me: You may touch him. Don't be gettin' frisky though.
Tony: I just want him to crawl around in my hand...
Me: Okay, I can allow that. If he gets one of his suckers stuck on you though, tell him he's sleeping on the couch.
So I am now the Doctor AND the face of Bo.
Because, according to Ayla, the world will end before I die.
Things I would never trust my mother with:
- A flame thrower
- A machine gun
- My hypothetical children
- My wallet
- My art
- Lemon Pledge
I have a theory.
If there are infinite universes...
Somewhere, everyone who loves Tom Hiddleston is married to Tom Hiddleston.
And that's why so many of us are in love with him.
Because Universe goo is entering our brains.
I think someone drugged me.
And if my previous theory is correct, there is also a universe where I murder him/torture him on a regular basis.
... I'm oddly okay with this.
Words I enjoy:
Bundt
Sprig
Moist
Bofur (The way I pronounce it sounds like I'm a dying space whale)
Meg: You have a specific smell. You smell like a dial soap that hasn't been made yet.
Me: I smell like soap that doesnt exist.
Steff: Kinda hard to capture awesome in a scent. You'll have to send them a sample
Me: Tis true. But I don't want to send them a sample cause then they'll find me and harvest me for my skin.
I am the Mad Hatter.
Steff BG is the Caterpillar.
Ayla Mae Andrade is the Red Queen.
Alexander Gerarde Souther is the White Rabbit.
Cat Sterling is the Cheshire Cat.
"Who needs Swag when you can wear a suit."
Me: You get something better. It's called class. But it only works if you already have a degree in Classanomics.
I'm also Dani. Which makes me a sassy gay Satan.
I realize I have like... 6 friend that I've adopted as children and I don't even want kids.
And like... one if them is significantly older than me. The 2 are around my age, and then theres my two cats and my dog.
7 kids now... Oh god, I'm one away from being Trans dimensional octomom.
Being a single father is hard... I'm Trans dimensional octo dad
I stepped out of the shower and looked in the mirror and I couldn't help but think...
I look delicious.
On a side note, eating chips after mouthwash is a terrible idea.
I had Pizza Hut for the first time in years the other day.
I am not sorry.
Me: On the topic of serial killers, you know who else was kinda sexy? Ted Bundy.
Albert Fish is kinda cute too. I mean, he had a good fashion sense and a pretty spiffy mustache
Herman Webster Mudgett, another epicly mustached fantastically dressed murderer
I think I should stop googling serial killers..
Paul John Knowles is sexy too
Friend: google godfather of cannibalism
Me:OMGOMGOMG THAT GUY! He's so fucking adorable! I want to go visit him and have dinner with him... I saw the interview and was like "Awwww!!"
... That sounded a lot less insane in my head.
Nonono but he was like.. So fucking adorable. And towards the end of the interview he was like "No one visits me, or calls me or anything" and I was like "AWWW! I wana call you and hang ouuutt!!"
Again, a lot less insane in my head
Like, I don't condone anything of what any serial killer does. It's wrong, horrible and sick in every way. But sometimes it's just like... "Awww..."
Also, Melvin Rees. I mean, how am I suppose to hate him when he was a jazz musician? Instruments. How can I say no to a saxophone? I mean come now.
Me: Spiffy, you wana come in? *opens door*
Spiffy: *wide eyed huge pupil cat stare*
Me: Spiffy?
Spiffy:
Me: Spiff.
Spiffy:
Me: If you don't come in now, I'm closing the door.
Spiffy: *weird ass head spasm satan thing that cats do and runs in*
Me:... Spiffy are you on drugs?
Spiffy: *druggie stare and falls over to get belly rubs*
Steff: Aaaaand that's our cats lol can't wait to harass him daily forevs!
5 hours ago via mobile · Like
Me: Indeed!! I want him and Maverick to be besties and Maverick get mad at Anko every time shes mean to him
(Maverick is her husky, Anko is my cocker spaniel and Spiffy is our black cat)
I need a Westwood suit and I need to introduce myself like this.
Dani. Dani Diaz. Hiiiiii.
Me: I love you. And loving you means I want to cut open the skin of your legs and play harp notes on your tendons.
I want to be a leather smith.
Me: I wana get married..
Mom: To who?
Me: To myself.
Mom: hahaha... No.
Me: What about a picture of myself?
Mom: No.
Me: What about a mirror?
Mom: You're funny... But no.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm single.
And then I look at the women around me.
And then I take a peek into my brain.
and go "Right."
Me: I don't know how to ride a bike D:
Ayla: OMIGOD I WILL TEACH YOU.
I'LL GET YOU TRAINING WHEELS AND EVERYTHING.
I WILL BE YOUR DADDY ON A SUMMER'S DAY.
Me: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
My friend was trying to explain fangirling over Tom Hiddleston to someone and used me as an example.
My life is complete.
Cat: Whenever anyone mentions him or I see him I think of you. XD
So in a world of Lord of the rings, I get to be Pippin. Who wants to be my Merry?
Down by the bay
Where the watermelons grow
Back to my home
I dare not go
For if I do
My mother will saaay
"Dani if you say pumpernickel one more time, I will punch you."
DOWN BY THE BAY.
Ad on the side of my screen: Do you love hats?
Me: *gasp* OMG HOW'D YOU KNOW!?
I want to be Hannibal's bride...
New love: Jeremy Renner. Because that man played Dahmer and now I'm in love.
I need a new fang-dangly typer tool.
Jordan: So THAT'S why Pluto isn't a planet of our solar system anymore. It was claimed as a part of the new galaxy "Danitantasia"
Me: And now Earth as a new element. Danitantia.
Jordan: As in the new element to power THE NEXT IRON MAN SUIT?!
Me: EXACTLY.
Jordan: I KNEW Robert Downey Jr had a place in his heart for you
Me: Everyone has a place in their heart for me.
I have an entire list of random ass people I need to marry.
Nicholas Cage is number 3 on the list.
I love how people think Spanish accents are so sexy....
And then there's me who cracks up at any spanish dude and go "You sound like my mom."
Ayla: She's a sheltered child. Constantly in her giant bucket, reading books, writing books or drawing. She dreams of the outside world, but she is afraid of it and stays sheltered within in her giant bucket. The only time she hears of anything is when someone is kind enough to visit her in her giant bucket. Telling her tales of distant lands and vast seas. Of new anime she has yet to watch, and gay Harry Potter fanfiction she has yet to read and squeal over. So be patient with her, be kind to her. For she is a sheltered child of the giant bucket.
Me: That was the most accurate description of my bucket.
Alright everyone, this is to get it out of the way. I am surprised at how many people don't know of the common foods I dislike, so let me give you a list. If anyone can think of others that I didn't mention, please say so.
First, and most important,
1.) Bacon. Yes. I hate bacon. I like other parts of the pig, but I don't like bacon. If you've seen me eat it, it's because a.) it was in something else and I had no choice, or b.) I like the texture.
2.) Peanut butter. I do not usually eat it with anything other than apples.
3.) Jelly. Is ick.
4.) Fluff/marshmallows. I can only eat them in rise crispie treats, or on a smore if they are burned.
5.) PB&J sammiches/PB&Fluff. Ew.
6.) Bananas. I like things that have bananas in them (Banana shakes, banana bread, banana cream pie, ect.) Just not Bananas.
7.) Tomatoes. (See bananas)
8.) Lucky charms.
9.) Blueberries. (Technically) Because I'm allergic to them.
10.) Tea. I only drink Arizona ice tea (lemon of half and half) Because it's so doused in lemon and sugar that it no longer tastes like tea.
11.) Root beer. Dun know. Just gross.
12.) BBQ chicken pizza. I don't think some foods should mix. This is one of them.
13.) Chocolate covered pretzels. See above.
Ever notice how Johnny Depp's characters have lady issues?
Edward Scissorhands never gets the girl.
Jack Sparrow doesn't want the girl.
And Sweeney Todd kills both the girls.
Johnny, are you trying to tell us something?
"Sammy" Is one of the only names where a "y" at the end instead of an "ie" is acceptable
This is what I'm here for. I help people to unscramble their brain eggs.
"Sammy" Is one of the only names where a "y" at the end instead of an "ie" is acceptable.
I think that the Dos Equis guy should find me and be like: "I am the most interesting man in the world... And so is she."
Some youtube person that I wanted to marry apparently asked why people think Tom Hiddleston is so attractive.
My friend thought that I was the best option to enlighten him.
I have so much Boston on me.
It's gross.
Scientific breakdowns of why women love Tom Hiddleston AND Loki with my friend.
Him: Here's the thing, though. People don't find LOKI attractive
They find TOM attractive. It's HIS portrayal that's making all the panties drop
Me: Nope. They find both attractive.
Him: Hnurr?!?!
Me: People love this version of Loki's face because of Tom
However, Tom is not at all cruel, or evil, or a trickster in a malevolent sort of way
They love Loki because Loki, as not manly as he may look compared to the avengers, asserts this dominating power that women crave
Because when it comes down to basics, women want the man that would be best suited to make babies. And a strong man that'll kill anyone who challenges him will make great babies
Him: But what if the baby challenges him
Well that would kinda be how nature works
Take lions for example
Male cubs will go off to try and create a pride or take one over. Say one goes back to his original pride and tries to challenge his father
One of two things will happen
He'll either get killed, or kill the head lion.
But Loki is immortal and not a lion
Or 1 of three things would happen
Given that is it the Marvel Loki, he'd either take his child under his wing and teach him the mischievous of the trickster god and they have a "normal" father son relationship, he'd kill the child, or the child would defeat him and he'd have to suck it up and cry in the corner
Him: Ha!
Me: Women love him because he has that "I'ma take what I want so fuck you" attitude
Women love Tom because he's a perfect gentleman who would try everything in his power to make someone he loves happy.
They love both equally because both are the two main types women love
Him: Hmm'
I misunderstood
and once again spoke without knowing my stuff
I didn't know about the actual character.
I is learning.
Me: ^^
Meg: I miss you cause you're my Spock.
Me: Damnit Jim I'm a doctor not Spock.
What if I actually don't exist and all of you have just lost your minds and created a chubby adorable Spanish chickdude to be your friend?
Okay, somewhat serious/not serious at all question that I want everyone to answer.
What would you do if I was actually the Doctor?
Steff: Demand to know why you don't pick me up in the tardis daily and take long trips throughout the universe together. And why we don't yet have a home in Salem when we could go back in time and rob a bank (I get you have morals and there's timely whimey wonkery, but Idc! So wtf?).
Don't worry, I'll wait.
Me: *lifts hand with one finger pointed up, about to answer, then pauses and looks thoughtful on one's life and decisions* ... I have 12 entire lives to rethink.
Meg: If you seriously are the Doctor right now I'm going to punch you in the teeth for not taking me on any adventures.
Every time I look up Harry Potter stuff I start getting teary eyed.
Vengeance. Sweet, zesty vengeance.
Damnit Jim, I'm Satan, Hitler, Batman, Loki the Potato, John Watson, Bones, Dr. Benjymin Charles Weston, That Guy, Dani, a Starburst, a wolf and The Doctor, not a scientist!
On the thought of me actually not existing, what if it was like... At the point where you "met" me, something sad/traumatizing was happening, or you were still trying to cope with something that had happened. And thus, I was created. Like an imaginary friend that you couldn't leave.
I came home from a fantastic weekend and was chilling yesterday when I suddenly heard something strange. It was so soft and so distant that I wasn't sure I even heard it. And then it hit me:
I didn't hear anything.
And that was the problem. There was no sound. There was no creepy creek of a door, no obnoxious meow or the sound of claws on my chair. There wasn't even the feel of eye drilling holes into the back of my head cause someone wanted to be patted.
I miss you O'Mally. I hope you're happy up there. We love you.
I was doing a mini project called "Contrary to popular belief"
1.) Contrary to popular belief, I don't hate anyone. I say "I hate humans" and "I hate people", however that really isn't the case. I have a never ending love for every person on this planet, whether I know them or not. I am incapable of hate. Sure, I'll dislike someone or hate how they act, but I don't hate them. The "I hate people" is referencing bits and pieces of the way people behave or treat others that I can't stand.
2.) Contrary to popular belief, I'm not self conscious in women's clothes. I'm comfortable wearing skirts and blouses and yes, even dresses. But when I dress feminine, it makes me feel like I'm being compared to other women. Don't get me wrong, I don't care what people think of me, it's the fact that people are actually comparing me makes me annoyed. And I just feel a lot more confident when I'm wearing men's clothes.
3.) Contrary to popular belief, I'm ridiculously shy. My outgoing demeanor is an effort to try and not be shy.
4.) Contrary to popular belief I am not as dark and twisted as I like to be. Hell yeah, my brain thinks of some messed up stuff, but would I act on any of these things or wish them upon people? No.
5.) Contrary to popular belief, I'm not opposed to having a boyfriend. I dictate compatibility by mentality, not by gender/looks. It's just that most guys don't interest me mentally. Yeah, they are nice to look at, but that's really about it most of the time.
6.) Contrary to popular belief, I want to find that one person to spend my life with and get married. The fact of the matter is I need that person to be exactly what I have in my head to do that.
7.) Contrary to popular belief, I've never been in an actual physical fight. In all honesty, I'm one of the most peaceful people I know. I even feel bad when I squish ants or spiders.
8.) Contrary to popular belief, I am not as dominating and manly as I like to pretend I am. As I said in the previous ones, I'm really shy and I will wear girly clothes. But the truth is, I like make up and I like shoes, and I'll watch Say Yes to the Dress for hours if you let me. But girly Dani also becomes shy Dani, while manly Dani is far more sassy and confident.
9.) Contrary to popular belief, most of the time, I don't like being touched. Most of you that know me know that I am a cuddly mofo and I love hugs. But this usually depends on the people I'm with. Some people enjoy me being cuddly and affectionate, so I'll do it for them.
10.) Contrary to popular belief, I am a human being.
Now that might seem kinda like "No shit". But usually, I'll deny my humanity. I like believing that I am from another dimension, mentally cast in human form. But honestly, I think I'm the most human person I know. I may be Satan and the Doctor and all that jazz, but to tell you the truth... And god damnit this will probably be the only time I say this.
I am Daniella Kiana Diaz. And 18 year old girl. And I am human.
11.) Contrary to popular belief, I do judge people. I judge people a lot. I just judge them positively.
12.) Contrary to popular belief, I'm social and need human contact.. This goes back to the "I love everyone" thing. As much as I love being alone, I'm horrible at it. I get antsy and bored and pouty when I don't have company. When I'm on the computer, 9 3/4 times out of 10 I'm talking to people.
Mike: so you're saying that you normally look like a classy bastard, but you have to plan to look like a normal person?
Me: Yes.
Sometimes I want to be a famous rapper...
But can you imagine an adorable little crossdressing Cuban girl being the opening act for Eminem?
If I wake up cold, I remain cold all day until I take a warm shower to replenish my heat supply.
Also, I've created a sentence that guarantees my mom to punch me.
"I put a poached egg on my pumpernickel break and added pepper and what not."
Me: Okay, so one day in the (hopefully) near future, I am going to get an Irish Wolfhound.
I'm almost dead set on the name "Loki Laufeyson"
HOWEVER
I'm also contemplating the name "Commodore."
Any other names you can think of? (middle names are also welcome)
Jordan: Commodore Captain Jack Loki Sparrow Stark the Third
Me: This dog will be so confused with his name
Jordan: Indeed
but he'll be tough because of it
Me: Yus he will
Jordan: dog'll have a damn sharp mind
Roll over? Boy, I was learning to get my master's slippers when you were still suckin on yer mama's tits in april. Don't you talk to me about "roll over"
Me: Dumb bitch think she's cute with "high five". I was opening doors for my human before your eyes even opened.
Jordan: DID YOU JUST ASK ME IF I KNEW "SIT"?! NEVER IN ALL MY 3 YEARS IN THE CORPS HAVE-...THAT'S IT, YOUR SHOES ARE GETTING CRAPPED IN!
Me: BITCH WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TELLIN' ME "WHO'S A GOOD BOY?" I'M THE ONE PULLING YOU OUT OF A FIRE WHEN YOUR DUMB ASS FORGETS TO TURN OFF THE STOVE.
Dumb slut.
BITCH I KNOW I'M A GOOD BOY.
Jordan: WHA-... YOU'RE ASKING ME TO DO A F***ING TRICK BEFORE I GET A TREAT AFTER STOPPING YOUR F***ING "VINTAGE" DALLAS BELT BUCKLE FROM MELTING INTO YOUR FLESH?!
Me:
Dog: *turns to me* Captain, permission to donkey kick this motherfucker in the balls?
Me: Permission fucking Granted.
Jordan: I DON'T KNOW WHO THE F**K SHOT JR, BUT I CAN PROMISE YOU I KNOW WHO RIPPED A BRAND NEW A**HOLE INTO THIS F**KER!
Me: This has been a wonderful conversation
I just had a realization about Kiba from Naruto.
He's always acting up and whining and complaining for attention.
Because he's a dog.
And all dogs want is to be loved and paid attention to.
I now feel like an asshole for shitting all over his life
Me:I want to be Tony Stark for a day.
But not for the reasons of being a Genius Billionaire playboy philanthropist.
No.
I want to just know everything he's feeling for one day. All the trauma, all the heartbreak, and all the self loathing.
Just for a day.
Friend: Masochism
25 minutes ago via mobile · Like
Me: Nooo not at all. I just like knowing the pain other people go through.
Friend: Alright you're off the hook
This time.
Me: Also I want to be a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist.
1.) I can't play video games. I really just suck terribly at them. However, I love watching people play.
2.) I have really great memories for trivial things. Such as some conversations I have with people about useless stuff. Or when people tell me a funny story about themselves, I can usually repeat it word for word and use the same expressions they did.
3.) I re-do things a lot. Such as re-read profiles (even my own), re-watch movies, re-look at my art binders etc...
4.) I am a triangular whore that lives in a Giant Bucket located at the center of an Empty Square. That is my equivalent to living under a rock. Except it's more spacious and echo-y. That means that if you tell me something of a known or unknown genre, I most likely won't know it and will stare at you with an adorable face until you explain.
5.) When I'm writing out stories or drawing, I talk out loud, make the expression that I'm drawing/writing, or get up and try to act out the scene to myself.
6.) The only dance I actually know how to do is the box dance. Other than that I can improv club dancing a little.
7.) I can only speak seemingly fluent Spanish when I'm angry or flirting with someone.
8.) I have texture issues with food. If it doesn't feel right, I won't eat it.
9.) Dani doesn't know how to ride a bike.
Person: Omg Dani that guy is totally checking you out-
Me: Shhh! Not now. I'm trying see if I can make this slug believe I'm Jefferey Dahmer.
I also like the word "Cornucopia" But can never remember it when I want to.
*friends tells me I can't be the doctor*
*later on*
Me: That's a synonym.
Friend: You're a synonym.
Me: I am a synonym. For the Doctor.
I am now the Pansexual Pimp.
I realize I'm more infatuated with Loki than I am Hiddles.
And thus I return to my innate ability to not fall for real people.
I should have two jobs:
Wedding planner so I can watch people get married and not have to do it myself.
And State executioner. So I can kill bad people.
Friend: I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband, Mrs. Harbinger. I remember it was one of the better weddings I ever planned. It really was so unexpected when your husband's wife murdered him. Then again, I guess that's why we're both here! *activates electric chair*
Me: EXACTLY.
I love how I have joke plans with random friends to get married to them.
How sisters work:
Me: AAAHHHHHH!! JUNEBUUUUUG!
Deven: I'LL SAVE YOU! *Supermans in*
Next day
Deven: AAAAAHHHHHHHH! SPIDEEEER!
Me: I'LL SAVE YOU! *Batmans in*
Later:
Deven and Me: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! BEEEEEEEEE!
How sisters work.
Deven just made me a step by step manual on how to put on make up.
You step into the room, knuckles white from your grip on the rifle. It's dark. The only light given is from a dusty window permitting the moon to shine through. "I'm here." you call; unable to stop the quiver in your voice.
Tap. Tap. The sound of well kept shoes on the hardwood floor echos. It's only a silhouette at first, but as your eyes adjust to the darkness, you see her. Curly brown hair, nestled under a black top hat. At first, her dress shirt seemed white, but upon closer moonlit examination, you can make out the splatters of blood and a tear on her side, exposing her rib cage. You might have not been able to see any other blood stains on her black clothes, but the smell of rotting flesh that may or may not have been hers was definite.
"I'm here like you asked. Now who are you? And what is it you want?" You're so tired. The days it took to get her were exhausting. Fighting your way through armies of the undead, losing good men and women along the way... All for a chance for this to end.
She doesn't say a word for moments at a time, almost as if she's surprised, then gives a light, dry chuckle. "I thought you might have figured it out by now. I called you here for an offer."
"You told me you'd end this if I came.."
"Yes I did." She nodded, acknowledging the situation. "I have a proposition for you." She never moves from her spot... Just stands across the room, never getting closer, nor farther, as if she knew you wouldn't leave. "I want you to give up your humanity and join my side."
Was she serious right now? Join the side of the dead? You've been battling these heathens for years and she thinks just asking nicely will make you join? Still... Your mind can't help but think what it might be like - No. You won't. You can't... What's happening? Why are you considering it? "Why me?" You ask.
"Why anybody?" She responds. "Everyone will join eventually. Some just take time. It's not that bad you know, just a moment of agony and poof! You're one of us. It's either that or continue this silly little war. Either way, you're going to join whether you choose.. Or I make you."
You're torn. Between the life and the war you live or finally accepting the inevitable fate of death. Your eyes gaze upon her. The vague outline of a tuxedo looking like the gods, or maybe the Devil himself made it just for her. You must have lost your mind. "Fine. I'll join. But tell me who you are."
"Oh you're going to love it here. It's fantastic, we have a dinner party every Wednesday and-"
"Who are you."
"Tea and biscuits is on Friday and-"
"Who are you!"
"Sometimes we even play croquet on-"
"WHO ARE YOU!!"
A blaze of light came from candles that hung on the wall and you see your friends, those who fell and those who lived standing together, all ridden with the mark of the dead... And her mark. You look back to the suit clad woman who was now mere inches from you, a wicked, grotesque grin spreading from ear to ear.
"I am Dani." she says. "And now, you're mine."
This was part of the "What if I actually don't exist" scenario except it was "What if I'm actually a zombie and I'm turning you all one by one into zombies"
Dani-ism
Dani-ism 2
Dani-ism 3
Dani-ism 4
Dani-ism 5
Dani-ism 6
Dani-ism 7
Dani-ism 8
Stumble!